Descriptive Writing

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Now that we have some spent some time focusing on how to write descriptively, I want to see a final product on Kingfisher here. I want to not only hear and feel, but I want to see what is happening as I read your writing.

Make sure our figurative language and exaggeration doesn’t interfere with the meaning!

26 thoughts on “Descriptive Writing

    Mrs. Reimer said:
    February 29, 2012 at 7:56 am

    We skied up to the double diamonds and slid to a stop, a line of penguins gliding over the ice. I looked up. Deep green pine trees stretched up like arrows reaching toward the sea of blue above us. Peace settled over me like a deep, heavy quilt, and time drifted by. Katie’s sharp voice broke the silence. I looked down. Katie was twitching like a tin can with a wound up elastic band inside. She leaned forward as if she were a race horse ready to take off down the path. My mind reached out to grab the reins and pull her back. “Twack, twack, twack,” a hollow wooden sound echoed in the background distracting us all. Everyone froze as we tried to figure out where it was coming from. Silence as long and deep as the grand canyon saturated the air. We heard our breathing slow and felt our hearts pound inside our tired bodies as emptiness filled our ears. “Twack, twack, twack,” the rapid drumming of a beak against a tree broke the silence. Instantly the spell was broken. Time woke up and moved forward.

    Mrs. Reimer

    austin said:
    February 29, 2012 at 11:12 am

    The day we went skiing it was snowing a lot but it was slow and made all the green was when I went down a hill really speedy like a bob sled and around a bend, then I twisted around and called clear so he knew it was safe to come down then my skis came out of the track and I hit a snow bank and curled up in a ball like a rolling snowball. A ski was in my mouth and the other was in my eye and two poles were twisted around under my legs and that made me feel like a human pretzel.

    Jessy! said:
    February 29, 2012 at 11:13 am

    My favourite part of King Fisher was the wonderful journey of skiing. I was so terrified of going on a hill, I felt like laughing hysterically while crying my eyes out. The only part I regret, that would change my life, was falling into 1 foot of snow, which felt like six feet. When ever I would fall in I swear I felt like I was “drowning of coldness”. I also went down baby hills which felt like mountains. They stretched all the way all the way to the sky, and were so steep you barely make it up a step. When you’d go down your head would meet your toes. The wind would blow your face and hair back. It feels like I would die!

    Nadia said:
    February 29, 2012 at 11:15 am

    Kingfisher Lake

    On our first day at Kingfisher we unloaded
    The bus, excitement in the air as we pulled in the drive way.
    My bag was packed full and heavy, like a bag of bricks. Everyone’s was.
    I smiled at the thought of freedom,” sleeping in a cabin with my friends, no parents and no school”. We grabbed our heavy bags. Smooth, white, fluffy snow covered the ground as we started down the pathway to the main camp. It was a beautiful day that day, bleu sky,
    Light breeze. A perfect first day.
    Mrs.Reimers car was at the back of the line, she drove slowly behind the struggling kids at the back. There were many ice patches, they were slippery like soap. Which made it hard while going up a hill
    With a massive backpack. The backpacks felt like chains
    Weighing me down!! Once you fell there is no getting back up. Katie fell and couldn’t get back up, I started to laugh but before I knew what was coming my feet were up in the air and I was sprawled on the ground on my back.
    There was a sharp pain in my back, and I looked up at the sky.
    I saw birds and the blue sky. I felt trapped as I thought to my self,
    “ those birds are lucky they don’t have to carry a bag of bricks”.

    Kadi-Rose said:
    February 29, 2012 at 11:16 am

    I’m in desperate need of food. I flatten myself in the pillow beneath me at the sight of food. I quietly slither my way though the snow and wicked trees in their rest, maintaining to keep my eyes on the deer. It’s Oscar. I launch up from my silence and glide down the snowy rollercoaster. I make it a must to keep my legs in front of myself to prevent tumbling forward. I feel relief flood me when I hit the ending. There’s a stamped of footprints that guides my way to the deer. Oscar falls to the ground and lets out this… lion roar. I cover my face with my “snowken” wet mittens, trying to calm the sweat that my adrenaline has created. I let my arms fall to my side, kneel down to his level, and declare one of his lives as my own by tapping him with my hand. I the back of my mind, a message of accomplishment congratulates me; I thank it with a proud grin.

    Gemma said:
    February 29, 2012 at 11:20 am

    The Survival Game

    I hide under a large, pointy pine tree with a deer as a hungry wolf passes us. My breathing has come to a complete stop. The sky above us is almost the colour of the ocean, the trees-a crisp green. I decide to move because I think that the wolf is gone. Not far off in the lightly falling snow, I see a sharp turn of a head and I know this mistake will cost my family a life. I start to panic, because I know that we won’t be able to run from a wolf. We try to dig deeper into the fluffy snow, but it is too late. A baby vole ends his life in a most horrifying way. A young deer from my friend’s family is also lost on this sad day. I see a marten and a hawk in the white ditch waiting for their next victim. As I am watching them, they look at me, but quickly dismiss that they are there. I take this as a warning, and we leave the area. My friend, the deer and I were lucky to only lose one family member in each colony today.

    micheala:0!!!!! said:
    February 29, 2012 at 11:26 am

    The Survival game

    The snow was as fluffy as a thousand little teddy bears lying down, while I the bear lie down hiding from the natural disasters when I spot a porcupine and another porcupine, so I sneak up to them and I am still trying to hide from the natural disasters. I hid behind a tree and pounce at them, once I get them two more porcupines gone and dead. After I got my lunch I went under a tree while I search around for my pray waiting to pounce for supper when I get up to a stop and I hold my breath when a natural disaster comes up and one bear dead four more to go.

    shamael said:
    February 29, 2012 at 11:27 am

    The trees were covered with snow like an ice cream covered with caramel. As we headed down the path to play the survival game, the snow started falling on our heads in small, little, tiny flaks. Soon we started hiding like a fish from a shark, scared we would get eaten. It was very quite suddenly I found my legs sinking like a green leaf falling from a tree on a beautiful, sunny, summer day. As I struggled trying to get up, but I couldn’t the snow was pulling me down. I tried to bush my self away and finally I got out of the snow and started looking for food and water to survive.

    Zachery said:
    February 29, 2012 at 11:29 am

    Snowshoeing was a dreadful experience that contained madness. The weather was like the wind and leaves in the fall because the snow drifted nicely like leaves, but it was winter. The bush smelt like people burning birch trees, it was the smell of glory and freedom. As we walked are snowshoes were like carrying 20 pounds on you feet but it seemed like it was in rocks but it was in snow. Everybody seemed like they had to run a mile before we left that’s how tiring they were.

    Aleia! :P said:
    February 29, 2012 at 11:32 am

    As I approached the big hill I felt like a bumble bee in a pack ready to swarm down the hill. As I flew down the hill I felt snow brush on my face, and my hair swish back from the wind. The smell of the coniferous forest was like smelling a fire of burning pine as I approached a stop like a horse being healed by its master. As I closed my eyes I heard birds chirping all around like I was in a dream of delight. As I opened my eyes my pack was way a head of me.

    Raja said:
    February 29, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    My best adventure was the SURVIVAL GAME! At kingfisher
    On day 3, at first Jessie told us how to play and then we stared our adventure in the woods. I was with Gemma trying to get food and water when I found the food I look and the snow was so white like ice-cream and what I could smell was all peace full pine trees as we where going along we both saw Kadi-rose and when she saw us she came to Gamma and I and took one of our lives each so we both only had 6 lives leftover as Gemma and I where getting up there we saw Mr. Purdon with his back on a tree but good thing he did not take one of our lives

    Adam said:
    February 29, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    The bumblebee skiing group started climbing a small hill one-by-one and once I reached the top I looked down, and saw Bryson going really fast but there was also another uphill after and he was going up it after the down hill he went into pizza but his right ski went from under him and he fell to his left and his head went down and hit a really hard patch of snow and he wasent getting up and I dident know what to do cause he was just lying there surrounded by trees and covered by some snow I started to feel a little scared until the instructor came up behind me and went to help him get up and he was okay it was just that his leg was stuck thankfully. That all happened within 20 to 30 seconds

    Keira said:
    February 29, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    On Wednesday at kingfisher, we went skiing . The sky was gray, blue on both ends no snow was falling . We went to the pine forest on smooth trails , and down hills . It felt so delightful going down , but your struggling when you go up you feel so exhausting , I hear Mrs.Reimer saying make a pizza! . I felt like I was going to fall because I went so fast down the hill . You ski away , you push yourself away . When I went down the hill I hear wind as I go down . the tree’s were pine snow on them ,

    Eric said:
    February 29, 2012 at 12:45 pm

    The day we played survival was lots of snow. When I walked the snow sunk me under and I was like a ship sinking down. The weather was beautiful and it was very quiet it was so quiet that it was almost like someone was going to pop up and eat me. I felt I was an animal trying to survive in a cold, quiet, and snowy winter. I felt worried about hiding well so no one will see me. I hid under the umbrella of the tree crouching behind the pine needles.

    Katie said:
    February 29, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    At King fisher we want snowshoeing on a trial adventure. The weather
    Was awesome and the snow was falling like flakes from the sky.
    We want to a lake called air Plane Lake and it was hard to do.
    We want to see a beaver lodge on the lake it was cool and cool to feel.
    We want bake to King Fisher Lake and it was tarring to do. We had to
    Go all the way across the lake then were tock are snow shoes off
    And it felt good to do that and it was good to be bake to the camp.
    Then we want to go make lunch and it was good to eat. Then we did are bird study and it was hard to do because it was hard to be quite. It was hard to tall want size it is of the bird. I love looking at the birds.

    By. Katie

    Shaynah said:
    February 29, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    The eggs Aleia was cooking smelt delicious. They sizzled on the stove as the fire cackled underneath the frying pan. Smoke escaped the stove and it traveled above the cabins. The eggs soon became scrambled. I was watching
    Aleia stomp up the stairs. The door swung open. Aleia trampled the cabin floor with pure white, wet snow.” First bowl of eggs is up!” She said. She
    Made her way over to the table and slid the bowl of eggs onto it. She went back outside. Excitement shot through me as she snatched up some pieces
    Of bacon from the bag and spread them onto the frying pan. Aleia’s a great
    Cook I thought. Suddenly, I heard a gag from behind me. It was Nadia. She
    Had a mouthful of eggs. She sprinted towards the garbage can and spit them out.” You can still taste the yoke!” She said with a sour face.” Yuck!” I said.
    Aleia came in again.” Bacon!” She said. I went over to the table and took a bite.” Wow! This is delicious!” I said. Aleia went back outside to stop the stove.
    By: Shaynah

    william said:
    February 29, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    ‘When I was snowshoing, the snow was deep, so deep that if I took off my snowshoes I would of felt and shrunk to the bottom like Titanic. There we’re Trails everywhere we had to go up hills like crazy it was so nice smelt nice too but… I kept falling I think it was but it was to big like skies at first but I said “No can’t be”. If you fall ,with snowshoe’s it’s hard to get back up, when you do you would be out of breath like somebody punch you real hard in the guts, it was hard getting up hills it was like somebody pushing you down the hill. When we got back too the campsite I was glad too be back, when I got to my cabin I took off my snowshoe and when I did it felt weird too walk on regular shoes.

    Yolanda said:
    February 29, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    On our second day at kingfisher we went skiing. The weather was nice enough to only wear a sweatshirt on. The sun was so hot that it made the snow sparkle, but the first hill I went on was scary because I’ve never skied. So when I went I felt the wind hitting my face stinging my cheeks like pebbles in a snowstorm. The hill was so fun then we went through a trail and there was more hills and then when we came back. I was so tired, I felt like im a an animal that never slept before

    Oscar said:
    February 29, 2012 at 1:00 pm

    At Kingfisher we went skiing when we started the ski tracks were flat till we got to a big hill we looked up and we started climbing. When I started climbing I kept slipping down so I started doing pizza. When I started doing the pizza it seemed easer so I kept doing the pizza. I can see the top and I make it to the top and the pane rushing through me stops, as I wait for the others I take a break when I take a break I can feel the swet priping on my nois. When the others come we start the journy to the Day center

    Bryson said:
    February 29, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    On our skiing journey at Kingfisher, we skied for hours which felt years have pasted to me. While we skied through forest the trees looked like they were growing sugar from the branches. We grew tired and weak from the hot, humid sun which looked like a single head light beating down on us from the clear blue sky. Off in the distance I see a highway, a black strip, making a path for the vehicles that ride upon it. As we ski our toes feel like they will rip off at any second from the constant up and down motion but, the sound of birds whistling, and the thrill of skiing kept us going.

    Damien said:
    March 1, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    As I was skiing in a trance, I noticed that our line had come to a halt. When I looked up, I saw a huge hill looming over me like a storm cloud as we started to climb, we had to make a pizza slice to make it up the hill the tracks were all rough and looked like it was trampled on by of couple of race horses just finished a race it sounded like the woodpecker was digging for gold it smelt like green pine and like maple when I picked up the snow with a mitt my mitt was cover in snow my hand inside was frozen so when I took it out it was as red as a red scorpion.

    Rose said:
    March 1, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    On our second day at Kingfisher we went on skiing adventure. The wind whipped my hair as I went down the huge skiing hill. I felt as light as a feather, gut going a mighty speed. When I m done I call out clear and I felt awesome!!! I wanted to do it again!!! I was all alone; I heard the trees brushing together in the wind. Then there was a triangle that said w and I had just started leading but I had to switch anyways. So I was at the back waiting for my turn but I kind of liked waiting because I don’t feel rushed to go down the hill. We saw some birds and I watched them while I was waiting. It was really calming skiing down the hill its like one of those slow motion things were the main character gets to think for a while and then it goes back to normal speed and its really fast. It was awesome!!!!!

    By: Rose Harrison

    dandre said:
    March 1, 2012 at 12:52 pm


    I was skiing along and found Hunter yelling and saying oww!!! struggling for life sinking farther each second because he hit a tree, I grabbed his shoulder to pull him out my hands were as cold as popsicles Hunter was going to fast and could not stop so I took my skis off and hoped into the snow sinking slowly I dragged Hunter out slowly sinking and going farther each time but I got him out my hands freezing I said Freedom!!!.

    taylor said:
    March 1, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    Skiing was the best.

    Skiing was the best day at kingfisher it was day 2 there. We where in the class room and she told all of us to come and get are boots and get are bots on. I got blue boots it was so nice we got are skis and polls. We got out side and put them on I was in the zebra group and we went off it was fun we went up hills and. about 50 minuets later all of us met up
    We went off to make lunch we made grill cheese they where good we all eat and then we where wetting for 30 minuets it was time to get back to skiing all of us met up and put on are skis on. When we got are skis on they bump me up to bumble bee grope I was a bit nerves and then I got use to it I got to led the way for 30 minuets. We where go up the hill and all I heard was pizza, pizza it was Mr. Purdon it was snowing out at the time
    It was not too bad. It was like it was 30 feet tall and it took 5 minutes to get up on it
    I went down the hill the wind was blowing in my face. It was so sad it was over we all went down. Then we all went back

      taylor said:
      March 1, 2012 at 12:54 pm

      good that is nice

    Hunter Russell said:
    March 1, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    When the time was 6:00 pm. We had to get dinner started. The air was cold and the wind was as still as a cinder block and the sky was a dark shade of purple. Our cabin was surrounded by pine trees which gave us a wonderful smell. My cabin mate Adam had to cook dinner. When the fire was finally set up the sky was black and the wind gave us a cool breeze and it sounded like waves. The fire was fully burning and the flame was huge. We took the burgers and they felt like ice, I put the patties on the stove that looked like a box. After the burgers were done there smell made there way into our cabin through the window. We brought them inside and put them on the soft buns, and dropped a dash of ketchup on top. They tasted amazing.

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